TheBlackburnMemoirs Noctis Blackburn March 4, 2020
There is nothing inherently wrong in the way in which people choose to live. But just because someone lives a certain way, does a certain thing, or has certain dreams, doesn’t mean those should be superimposed upon you.
Just as I hope others revel in their freedoms, I will revel in mine. If that means I’m buried in books for hours on end, or write for hours on end, or stargaze for hours on end, it is what I Love, it is who I am. I can’t imagine myself doing what most other people do anymore than I expect others to enjoy my lifestyle either. And I’m incredibly thankful and grateful life offers endless variety for each and every one of us to have this ability.
The Blackburn Memoirs Zy Marquiez February 28, 2020
No matter who you are, it is downright crucial to embrace who you are, no matter what. It’s not always easy, but its possible, and its ultimately the only way that you could ever be the best you, for how could you ever the best version of yourself, if you do not embrace yourself in your totality?
Likewise, the more you embrace your individuality the more your vibes will resonate significantly and you’ll be able to find your vibe tribe, those that understand you for you, and not simply the mask that you (and each of us) choose to wear daily.
As I’ve often written, there are people that will only accept you for you, as long as you are flawless, as long as you are perfect. That is not a sensible thing to expect from anyone. But many people see others expecting that, which is why individuals end up holding back regarding their personalities, likes or dislikes, etc., never showing their true selves, or any shade that might even compromise that perfect image that some often expect.
Not only are those impossible standards to attain, but that’s being highly conformist when someone expects you to fit within a (perfect) box. Anyone can accept your light shades, but its takes a true friends to accept every strand of your existence, every shade within your spectrum.
THOSE people more than anything are your vibe tribe. And I am incredibly thankful for all of those that I have gotten to know over my life that fit that bill.
The Blackburn Memoirs Noctis Blackburn February 9, 2020
With the above image in mind, which mindset do you employ?
I have always been fascinated by the mindset each individual employs, as we all tend to decide the lives that we live based on those views. Mindset is paramount, as growth and change are born out of it. And growth is born out of our continual stoking of the fires that feed our soul.
For me, writing is one of the main things that helps feed my soul. Exploring and learning about life also does the same, too. And all of that has helped me grow faster and in more directions than I ever though I would. I wouldn’t be here now doing this if that wasn’t the case.
Whatever happens, make sure you start, or keep doing what feeds your soul continually, no matter what it is. By continually feeding your soul with that which you genuinely Love to do the most, you’ll get an endless well of energy that’ll continually keep you ignited to do whatever it is you wish to do for yourself. That’s how you begin creating those avalanches of growth that make every day like a new canvas so you can continually use to create the life of your dreams.
The Blackburn Memoirs Noctis Blackburn January 30, 2020
Life’s incredible in that you get to meet people from all walks of life. The more you expose yourself to different individuals, the more you learn about the range people have, and the depth that cultures have depending on where that person is from and where they were raised.
Be that as it may, for myriad reasons, many people struggle with staying true to themselves. Whether it’s social upbringing, conformity that comes from all directions, or simply trying to fit in, the issue of not being wholly authentic and happy in your own skin plagues many individuals from all walks of life, and it can shackle someone’s soul in endless ways. Not being true to you is like having a box of crayons, and always panting in one color because you are expected to (or may even want to if you are conforming yourself) only employing one color and hence, not employing the full kaleidoscope of colors that are available for you. Worse, such instances zap your spirit in countless ways.
As an example, for the longest time, I struggled with the fact that I was a writer, poet, and love reading. Why? Because one way or another, some people judge you for all three. But I got tired of it, and decided that if I wasn’t being true to myself, I wasn’t living life to the fullest.
How could a person, in any way shape or form, be living a boundless life, if they are only showing a fraction of who they truly are and what they really love? And it doesn’t matter what you enjoy and love doing, if it’s your passion, OWN IT. F**k what other people think.
As an adjunct to the previous example, I still remember the looks I used to get when I started taking books into the gym to be efficient to read and write between sets since I hate wasting time, with some people giving me the look like “Is he for real?” HELL YES I’M FOR REAL! I love reading, I love writing, and I’m not going to cap myself because some people decided to judge me without knowing me.
I also realize why I get judged a lot, and one of my close friends told me this long ago. She said something along the lines of, “You don’t look like a nerd, dress like a nerd, or even joke like a nerd, but deep down inside, you’re the BIGGEST NERD I KNOW!” And that never occurred to me until she said it, but it was true. I can’t help who I am or what I love doing. I just own it now. Or in other words, what I was going through is what is called judging a book, by its cover. How ironic is that?
It’s odd that in a culture that’s supposed to extol freedom, conformity seems to be the prescribed theme most of the time. But there is no growth in that.
And the best part of simply being yourself is that you will begin finding your vibe tribe, those that’ll appreciate you for you without any agendas at bay, without any complications, always authentic in their own skin, no matter what.
You were meant to stand out, so do it. Own it. Become the person you always wished to be, because life’s too short to live only showing a fraction of who you truly are.
“Identify what stops you from being your ideal version of yourself. This is a core part of personal growth work.” – Dr. Zwig
At my current personal juncture, I’m goinge through a serious recalibrating of many habits that do not allow me the growth that I’ve been seeking for quite some time. In the past, I’ve been at various points where I was satisfied with my own personal steps that sought growth in various directions, but of late, I wasn’t accomplishing as much as I would have liked to in life because I steered away from the proactive steps I was taking previously, but wasn’t taking of late.
To solve those glaring oversights, I needed to handle my main problem, which was the amount of time I spent on social media. I wrote about it in the past, but as a quick synopsis, on average I spent well over 100 hours of a month, nigh every single month last year wasting time on social media. That seems outlandish, except some people spend a few multiples of that when it comes down to it. It’s actually a much more serious issue than it seems at first blush, but I won’t delve into that now. The point is that if I was going to get to the self-reinforcing positive habits that I love doing, which are writing poetry and blogs, and conducting reading while also doing research, I needed to quite overlooking main and most obvious vacuum of time, which was social media.
There are other bad habits that I also have and I’m working on overcoming, such as not being mindful about what I eat and so on, but the largest one that affected me the most is social media by far. And while I still plan on using social media as needed, I’m going to be mindful about it and efficient as well. But creating a positive habit is one thing, keeping those habits is the hard part. This is why I need to be mindful about it as I continue to move forward given the goals that I have this year, be them personal, business, writing, and so on.
As I do that, I’ll be able to follow the steps that I’m going to take and was taking in the past, thus bit by bit, continue to achieve the goals that I set for myself. I know many of the goals will not be easy, particularly with writing and so on, but obstacles are something that allows for growth and are part of life, so I shall learn from them every step of the way.
And I hope that in whatever goals each of you are undertaking at the moment, you all seek to take a really proactive approach to achieving those dreams as well.
************************************************ Personal Note:
I’m going to be doing a larger Blog Update soon. I’m in the process of getting another admin or two of my Facebook pages, since I’m also using my old one again, that couples into another Blog I’m also going to be writing on as well, so I will be quite busy. Finally, I know the mailing list has grown overtime even though I’ve neglected this blog quite a bit, but I really want to thank those of you who have stuck around and continued to support the blog when possible. I You all have a stellar evening.
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” – Neal Donald Walsch
It’s intriguing when you’re mindset shifts. Not long ago, although I always considered myself strong in certain aspects of mindset, that wasn’t the case with everything. Trying new things, venturing outside of my comfort zones, and steamrolling towards my dreams, was something that always seemed like trying to climb Mount Everest as a snail on crutches. Except, there is no mountain, except those we impose upon ourselves. That doesn’t mean there are no obstacles, but we as individuals need not add complications to those circumstances.
Thankfully, now, I rarely talk myself out of venturing outside of my comfort zones. It does happen at times though, but I do try, and often. Even if it fails, and that’s okay. The feedback of failure is actually something that can lead in separate directions, a positive, and a negative one. And when it comes to failure, what’s the worst thing that happens if you fail at something like a dream or goal? You fail, that’s it. It isn’t death. It’s not a catastrophe. It’s just failure, something we get over, but something that can serve as part of the foundation or growth if you so choose.
But what happens if you succeeded? It changes your life in more ways than you can possibly imagine. And I’m thankful for having gotten over my fear of venturing outside of comfort zones, because had I not, in some capacity I wouldn’t have met most (or even all) of you under varying circumstances. This is because at minimum, I had to venture outside of my comfort zones, and now I’m thankful for everything in some capacity, even failures. Especially since failing at something shows how you can adapt, grow, become something more, perhaps different than you thought, but still, a better version of you. Or not. Just depends on the steps you take. And even if its baby steps, any step forward counts.
So why not keep taking steps forward instead of staying stagnant?
“The echoes of beauty you’ve seen transpire, resound through dying coals of a campfire.” – Ernest Hemingway
It’s been quite a long time since I’ve made an actual campfire, but I do love reading and writing when cozying up by the fireplace, which has been something I’ve done for years, which is a suitable alternative. In fact, there’s a couple of cords of firewood ever-present here, because that’s how much I enjoy that seemingly inconsequential past time. Except it is not, not be a wide margin.
Having the ability to make a small fire at home might not seem like a big deal, bit it is in my estimation. It’s something of substance that one can do at home that allows for a fresh breath of air that infuses inspiration into one’s soul. Fortuitously enough, although a campfire wasn’t on my agenda during the holidays, during winter vacation I was lucky enough to spend a bit of time in North AZ, although unlucky enough to be met by multiple snowstorms.
Now, I don’t regret it one bit, though the snow got intense at times. But there’s beauty in that intensity, there’s beauty in those moments when we have the latitude to spend time in nature, doing something of substance, like writing. That’s one of the reasons I love fires, because not only do I write and read by default, but the process of creating a fire mirrors that of writing.
In varying ways, mindfulness, as homing in on the specific and much-needed steps that are required for the creation of what you wish to do, is something that isn’t only cathartic in both writing and firecraft, but breathes a breath of fresh air into life.
Perhaps, gravitating to the flames by a fireplace might not be for everyone, but for me, that little slice of heaven is my sanctum of solace, my haven of perfection, and I wouldn’t change it for anything.
Except for campfires. I certainly would change it for that.
The world we live in is no longer the world our parents grew up in. These days, personal information has been monetized by corporations for myriad reasons, showing the premium than private data has for certain sects of society, particularly the criminal underworld.
In a perfectly moral world, such considerations wouldn’t even taken place, but we live not in a ‘perfect’ world, we live in a world where information isn’t only used against individuals to make money off of them, but sometimes, criminal elements of society will use that information to control individuals into doing whatever questionable acts they deem fit.
Moral of the story, be careful who you share your information with, particularly personal information like your full name, address, work place, personal pictures, and anything else, and also be careful where you share that information, because at times that’s just as important as the information shared, if not more so. All of this might be obvious, but given that much of what’s obvious (i.e. people “should” eat healthy) can often be glossed over easily, I share this as a reminder to hopefully urge individuals to be more mindful of such considerations.
The above sentiment might seem obvious, but given that many things that seem obvious aren’t really acted upon as such, I find the above sentiment worth noting.
Moreover, since many times it is apparent that individuals end up taking disagreements highly personal, particularly online, the above sentiment is worth noting because, contrary to popular opinion, there is nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone. It’s part of being an adult, and/or just simply being mature.
Getting worked up, and risking fracturing a relationship of any type is not worth the idea of winning an argument in my estimation. But those are just my thoughts, and you may disagree, and that would be A-okay. That’s the whole point of this quick bit, realizing that there’s more than one side to every story, and knowing that it’s okay for people to not share the same common ground.
As far as writing is concerned, I have stayed focused on that for the most part. Even so, I find myself failing with the blog because even though I have been writing regularly, I have not been uploading content. Some of this is due to lack of mindfulness, but I have been making poor choices as far as the Blog is concerned, given that it doesn’t take too much time to upload content that’s already been created. Either way, I’m disappointed in myself, and plan on changing that immediately.
Writing has been ongoing, and I’m actually writing in myriad directions, and its rather fulfilling for the most part. I have managed to remain inspired and focused, while also trying some new things in some areas, but overall, making sure that I have written has gone off without a hitch.
Now, I made two decisions for myself within the last few days that have lead me to this very point. These days, unlike the past, I am not reticent about doing what is best for me, which is why I’m writing this blog in the first place.
The first decision dealt with me trying to clear up something for myself, by being direct with myself about a certain matter, and that didn’t go so well. The whole point is that, in the end, although I continually try to do what’s best for me, it doesn’t always work out. But at least I know that regardless of what happens tomorrow, I tried, and that’s all that matters.
Immediately thereafter, I decided to make the second decision given that it was glaringly obvious that what was best for me was not to be on Instagram at the time. And I shut down all my main IG accounts except one, and I even plan on steering away from that one unless I have a significant reason not to.
Irrespective of that, the whole point is that my choices have been incredibly Love based – doing what’s best for me because I care for myself – rather than when I haven’t done what’s best for myself, like overlooking my health, which is a glaring mistake. On the other side of the spectrum, at times I don’t end up doing what’s ‘best’ for me due to fear-based considerations.
What’s the difference? In the former, I am chasing you dreams, because that’s what’s arguably best for me. The latter, would be me staying in my comfort zone, even though some would argue that that’s what’s best for them. And I hold no judgment as to who makes what choice for themselves, as I’m a huge proponent of Freedom, particularly Freedom of choice.
Every single one of us has a choice to make every single day. In fact, we have hundreds if not thousands of choices we make daily, except, most of them come automatic through the day. But still, we make choices, and it’s in the most important choices that we each make in our lives that we see the most massive shifts. And given that I plan continuing to torpedo right through my fears, I can only do what’s best for me because not doing what’s for me would not only selling myself short, but not living my life to the fullest.
One thing’s certain, at the end of my life, I don’t want to have any major regrets, which is another reason why I don’t shy away from trying to do what’s best for me, because in the past I would not try something and know how disappointed I felt in myself if I didn’t try something, like applying for a certain job for instance.
Some of you may be asking, or have asked, “Well if writing is so important to you, why don’t you stay on Instagram at a much more limited time?” That’s an excellent question, and one a few people have raised on Facebook given they couldn’t contact me through IG. The reason for that, as I have covered in past videos, is that I’ve gotten into the bad habit (again) of spending a large amount of time, much more than I should be, on Instagram in this instance, but in the past it was on Social Media in general. And while that might work for other people, as I have quite a few friends, some of them best friends, that are literally on Instagram all day long, that just won’t work for me.
That doesn’t mean I won’t use the platform again, it’s just that given how busy I am this time of year in the businesses, and given how much I want to continue writing, I can’t afford to be wasting one or two dozen hours on social media that aren’t going to anything productive or improving my life. You might be asking, so what exactly do I deem productive? Some of this is writing, interacting with people, supporting others, getting to know people in depth, etc. But a lot of the time I spent was following trails of Memes, or spending lots of time looking at travel locations, or any type of pictures that could serve as a prompt or inspiration with writing for me.
Regardless, I have to draw the line somewhere. I can’t afford to be losing huge slots of time by doing that. And I don’t regret any of the meaningful things I was doing on IG, like getting to know people, or supporting their work, sharing poems, etc. That I could never regret, particularly getting to know people, because unlike the other things, you don’t always have an opportunity to interact with someone one on one, so when that happens I cherish it incredibly because (1) it doesn’t happen often enough I believe, and (2) it might not happen soon or ever again, which is why I always try and remain in the moment when I’m trying to talk to people, find out what they enjoy, and all that jazz.
The whole point is that, I got into the exact bad habit that made me waste over 1000 hours of my life on social media this year, and if I really hope to do what’s best for myself, there is just no way on Earth I could ever do what’s best for me while having Social Media, or specifically in my case, Instagram, siphon so much time from me, particularly at a time of year when time is so precious and at a premium.
With all that in mind, I shall continue to do what’s best for me, and hopefully I can continue to achieve everything I can achieve as an individual, while always remaining open to the fluidity of life and the possibilities that may arise. And although I certainly didn’t plan on detaching myself this much from social media, I know myself and I know if I didn’t do it my health would pay the price with increased stress and so on, as has happened in the past.
Do I plan on using IG again? Sure. But for now, using it like I was using it before just won’t work. I do want to use it in a limited way to post poetry, but time (and my health) will tell.
I hope you are all doing fantastic, and always remember, dreams don’t happen over tonight. You have to be proactive in the steps you take towards them. But eventually, with enough focus, poise and drive, if you want it bad enough, I do believe it can and will happen more often than not. But you can never give up on yourself, or even the dreams of other, no matter what.