“In this moment there is plenty of time. In this moment you are precisely as you
should be. In this moment there is
– Victoria Moran
Seeing that the musings have become my unofficial journal of
sorts, I’m going to continue with it given how much better it feels to vent and
speak of certain things on my mind.
Jumping right in, this past weekend was the first weekend in as long as I can remember, many years in fact, that I was totally to myself. I had no plans, except my usual ones, no family in town, no nothing; it was a blank slate. In the past I totally would have picked up the phone and gotten a hold of some people to hang out, but I thought that perhaps I’d do something different and just take extended time for myself. It’s not that I haven’t taken a day or so to myself before, I certainly have, but there’s a big difference between a day, and four days just doing your own thing.
I preface this entry with the aforementioned because out the blue I decided to go to the park after being the place I venture to on the weekends which I call the Pizzeria, though it’s not that by any means, it’s just that pizza’s my default food there, so I employ that nickname. Anyways, on Saturday night, after having been there and closing out the place while writing for nigh 4 hours or so, I decided while heading home that I would stop by a park. It was totally spontaneous, which is something that I don’t mind doing now, though I certainly wouldn’t have ever in a million years thought of doing that in the past.
I was nice to just continue do what I was doing at the previous place which was write, and when coupled with stargazing, it was a whirlwind of inspiration. I often find myself very energized when leaving the Pizzeria, but there’s just nothing to do except usually head home. In any case, I spent so much time there that I didn’t get home until like 5 or 6? I thought I would only spend an hour there, but time flies when you’re mind is operating at Warp 9. I wound up thinking and/or writing about goals, things I need to work on, things I’ve overcome and things that I’m not being mindful about, mainly my health, but certainly MANY other things. It’s just that my health would benefit the greatest from mindfulness given that everything else in my life stems from that. If my health is dismal, then everything else follows suit.
The point is that it was just nice to relax and not have to worry about work, or life, or anything, and just write and/or think. Granted, I do that very often, but never in such a way. If anything, there was a lot more clarity and depth, which allowed me to pen my thoughts more incisively throughout and also conceptualize current and future goals I would like to achieve, along with a whole host of other things.
I’m just trying more often to be in the moment, slow down a bit, because Heaven knows sometimes I get so busy, though admittedly its by choice, that I forget to slow down and be mindful or considerate about things. But I find often, that when I do slow down, it’s emblematic of having been sprinting in a marathon and all of a sudden you’re allowed to breathe and catch your breath finally.
My life’s changed so much the last year, particularly the last 6 months or so, and I just wonder I am going to be and what projects ideas and things I am going to be doing a year from now. In one sense, I’m nervous because my life has often taken drastic turns, and not always for the better, but I’m mostly hopefully and excited given that even though there’s been drastic turns in my life before, it’s never been insurmountable, even though at times it might have seen as such.
I don’t see why I wouldn’t be doing this blog a year from now, so hopefully when a year from today passes by, I can look back retrospectively not only in appreciation, but in curiosity as to how much my life has changed, what things I’ve delved into, what things I’ve been working on, and countless other things.
I might do a quick year in a review in a rough sense of the past year now that I think of it, but I’m still uncertain about that. It might be neat to do a quick synopsis of lots of successes and failures, and what I can glean from each so I don’t end up making the same mistakes and hopefully help others as well so they don’t make the same mistakes as me. We’ll see.
You all have a wonderful evening.
I’ve been incredibly busy today organizing my home office that looks more like a disaster triage center than an office, but let’s just pretend to make it more palatable. My original intent was to do my usual posts, share poetry, and so on, but I decided to put all that on the back burner given that organizing was more important, and something that if I do it correctly (*Crosses Fingers*) then I won’t have to do it again for a long time. The core parts of organizing that is, not the regular little things like index card notes or sticky notes that I’m bound to scatter all over the place like a tornado.
I also plan on writing a post on the subject of “Why I Write”, which I thought would be a neat concept that was brought about an IG user named FacelessVerity. They had two posts in sequence talking about why they wrote, and I found it very intriguing and refreshing, so I thought I would write something similar. That entry won’t fall under a regular musings given that it’ll be at the foundation about writing, but I’m still stoked to perhaps walk through all (or most) reasons as to why I write.
It’s my contention that writing is one of those concepts that can do a lot more for the world than people give it credit for, but that’s a whole different topic I would like to discuss in the future. You all take care.
Noctis Blackburn is an author, bibliophile, writer, poet, dreamer, star gazer, autodidact, logician, researcher, lover of life, Carmel Macchiatto addict, and more.
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